CHAPTER 1: BEING YOURSELF

The best version of yourself is being true to yourself, but what does this mean? It is sometimes easier to explain something by identifying what it isn’t. That said, here’s a list of what is not being the best version of yourself:

• Being true to yourself is not about pleasing others;
• Being true to yourself is not about hurting others;
• Being true to yourself is not about doing things you dislike;
• Being true to yourself is not about forcing yourself to do something;
• Being true to yourself is not about being hard on yourself;
• Being true to yourself is not about judging others and comparing yourself;
• Being true to yourself is not about being a victim of your surroundings;
• Being true to yourself is not about acting in a way that will attract more fans on social media.

Being true to yourself means that you behave and communicate in complete integrity with your belief, values, and, most of all, with what feels right in your heart. When there is an alignment with your inner self (emotions, states, and desires) and outer self (behaviors, communication, and relationships), you are the best version of yourself.

Assessing Yourself

Have you ever felt like your behavior and the way that you held yourself varied depending on who is around you and where you are?

We tend to play a different role when we are with individuals that we want to please or want to make sure that they like us. For example, you might behave in a completely different way if you are at work or with people you just met and want to be friends with them. We tend to be ourselves when we are at home or with childhood friends. That is when we let our guards down and become more vulnerable and less worried about how others might perceive us.

The following questions will help you identify which area of your life you are the best version of yourself. The answer is yes or no, pick the answer the closest to how you feel (mostly yes or mostly no).

Business, Career and Professional World

	YES	NO
Are you satisfied with your work?
Do you get along with your colleagues?
Do you know what you want to do for work?
Are you comfortable with your knowledge and skills?
Do you feel you are contributing to the world in a way that fulfills you?
Are you happy in your career?
Given the opportunity to change work, would you still stay in your job?
TOTAL:

Love and Romantic Relationship

	YES	NO
Are you experiencing happiness in love?
Do you feel like you can be yourself in a love relationship?
Do you feel loved for who you truly are?
Do you feel your partner knows you very well?
Are your needs mostly met in your love relationship?
Is it easy for you to understand your partner?
Are you healthily independent in your love relationship?
TOTAL:

Family

	YES	NO
Are you close to your family?
Do you feel like you have a connection with your family?
Can you be yourself around your family?
Do you mostly experience positive emotions around your family?
Is being with your family where you feel like you are truly yourself?
Do you feel supported by your family?
Can you count on your family when you need help?
TOTAL:

Friends

	YES	NO
Do you have a close bond with your friends?
Do you trust your friends?
Would you say that the level of “give and take” in your friendship is balanced between you and them?
Do you feel like you can be yourself with all your friends?
Do you have healthy boundaries with your friends?
Do you feel comfortable saying “no” to your friends?
Are you honest with your friends?
TOTAL:

Acquaintances and Neighbors

	YES	NO
Are you honest with people you meet for the first time?
Do you stay true to yourself when you meet new people? (Meaning you don’t change your demeanor.)
Are you honest with yourself when you meet someone new that you don’t like? (Meaning you don’t try to convince yourself that you need to give them a chance.)
Are you the type of person that will say “no” to an offer to go out if you don’t feel like hanging out with that person?
When you meet someone, do you immediately know if you will get along with them or not?
Are you able to distance yourself from a person when you are not interested in their friendship?
Are you comfortable expressing your thoughts with unfamiliar people?
TOTAL:

Self

	YES	NO
Are you comfortable in your own skin?
Do you appreciate your physical body?
Would you say you have healthy self-talk?
Are you comfortable with compliments from others?
Is it easy for you to accept help from others?
Do you appreciate spending time by yourself?
Could you list ten qualities about yourself right now?
TOTAL:
Compile all the “yes” and “no” from each section. TOTAL:

The more “yes” you have, the easier it is for you to be yourself. The goal is to be your true self in all spheres of your life. Based on that quick survey, which area of your life has more “NO”? Keep that in mind; we hope that by the end of reading this book, you are more comfortable being yourself in that area of your life.

“Every decision you make reflects your evaluation of who you are.”
Marianne Williamson